So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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