Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
