Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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