Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
