OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
