3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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