i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
