i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
