thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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