So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
