Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize