i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
