I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize