I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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