True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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