it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
