I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
