i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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