Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
