He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
