I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
