Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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