I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
