i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
