can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
North Korea, Best Korea!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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