big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
