I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
