but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
