Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
