She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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