i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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