so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
