So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
