okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
