You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
