Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
