super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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