i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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