you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
