i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
