my room smells like sperm. sweet.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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