how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
