what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
