Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
