You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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