Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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