My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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