Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
