The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize