DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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