If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
