I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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