Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
