im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
