Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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