And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
