thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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