Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
