she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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